12th September 2007

Would Ned Kelly have turned out like he did if he had attended the ‘working man’s college’ set up seven years after he was hanged? I’m not as smart as the eight academics sitting on the panel, but at a guess I’d ask … Are you serious?

I could almost hear the loud moaning of tortured souls echoing from their cells in the old Melbourne Gaol next door and begging for mercy. As the discussion progressed, the actor portraying Redmond Barry in the background started to look more like Santa after a lobotomy, and the poor bugger playing poor old Ned was left gagged in the dock and looking like he’d been sucking on Joe’s opium pipe trying to escape the forlorn and flippant floundering from the folly of a futile forum of faculty, fantasising fatuous and feeble far fetched fallacies. I’m sure Ned would have come up with some more F words if he could have only had the opportunity to get a word in edgeways.

From psychological profiles to what’s happening in the Trade Union movement to scholastic jabbering; it went on and on; All trying to show us how Ned could have turned out if he had only gone to college. One member of the panel even went as far as to say that Ned could have become a journalist. Now there’s a thought that would have had him turning in his grave. He could have just as easily become commissioner of police. I wonder how many of those panel will be remembered as an Australian icon and in Aboriginal dream time a hundred and thirty years down the track? The timing of this discussion on the 12th of September seems too much of a coincidence to me. I hope they weren’t trying to link Ned to the New York terrorist attacks of 9/11as well.

I’m sorry to say my brain ladened panel, but we all know that no matter how much education you receive, it will not necessarily keep you from crime. Are you trying to tell us that if you aren’t well educated you are more prone to drift to the dark side? From what I’ve seen over the years, some of the biggest rogues are the ones who have had a good education. Think about it when you look at your next bank statement and wonder why some of your hard earned money has mysteriously gone missing from your account. Just before an election you were promised the world, and after, all you receive is a major shortfall in their promises. What about well heeled and educated solicitors who will only defend you if you have the money to meet their exorbitant expenses? Just ask Ned; he knew all too well about that one. It seems to me that the higher the educational qualifications you have, the less physical labour you have to do and the more you get paid for it. Someone once said something to the effect that ‘it would not do if all men thought the same.’ I think it was one Ned Kelly. Could you imagine if every man and woman in this country had a university degree in one thing or another. I can’t; it would be too catastrophic to contemplate. There are enough so called smart arses around now.

It wasn’t a lack of education that led Ned Kelly to the drop. It was a rogue of a policeman by the name of Alexander Fitzpatrick. A drunk and a liar of a man who through his lies and treachery ignited the course that Ned Kelly would eventually be forced to take. Whether you have had a good education or not, what man would stand idly by while his family is being harassed and subjected to immoral advances by police or anyone else? The moment Fitzpatrick ran off with lies of attempted murder, Ned Kelly knew he was a dead man, and no degree of education would have changed his course one bit. I’m not saying a good education is a bad thing; All I’m saying is that this country was forged mainly by the blood and sweat of good people, and a majority of them with very little education.

Here are a few sayings from some people you may remember:

James Joyce: A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.
Oscar Wilde: Nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
Mark Twain: I’ll never let school interfere with my education.
Winston Churchill: My education was interrupted only by my schooling.
Tom Bodett: The difference between school and life? In school you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.

Edward Kelly:
Not every man was born a king to rule this troubled earth.
Yet men from poor and lower class can rule through inner worth.
A worth and strength that can’t be bought with gold nor precious things.
The treasure lies within their hearts and minds that make them kings.
No crown or robe they need to wear to lead a kingdom’s might.
Just equal justice for all men, for this they’ll surely fight.
To stand against corrupted laws of governments and police.
For love of family and their homes and rights to live in peace.

Now don’t take my word for the thoughts on the above hypothesis of Ned and RMIT, have a gander for yourself on the net and form your own opinion. To me it was a waste of precious oxygen, and all to do about nothing.