Ned
Kelly's Lost Birthday
After reading just about anything
I could get my grubby little hands on about Ned Kelly,
there are 3 things I would dearly love to know.
1. Ned’s
birthday.
2. What really went on in that hut when Fitzy got hurt?
3. Did Ned really marry, and who was the mysterious
bride?
4. And last but not least; was Ned planning a republic
for N.E.Victoria, and whose been bloody hiding that
proclamation from us all this time?
You’re now asking yourself;
hang on, he’s
listed four mysteries and he reckons he only wanted
to know three! Well I reckon I’ve already solved
the first one.
Yes Mr. Jones, I’m sorry,
but I have to disagree with you. Through ten minutes
of deep research (Keith McMenomy’s Illustrated
History) I’ve come
to the positive conclusion it is almost possibly and
maybe probably around about I think June of 1855.
The penny dropped back in 2005 when I strained my keen
bespectacled eyes over just one page of Keith’s
book. A copy of Grace Kelly’s birth registration
and John Kelly’s death registration unravelled
the mystery before me.
I knew I had uncovered ground
breaking information that would settle the question
once and for all. At the 125th anniversary in Glenrowan
I waited in ambush for Ian Jones. Waiting until he
had finally finished his talk, I found my chance to
pounce.
‘Ian! Ian! I’ve discovered conclusive ground
breaking information that I think, maybe, or kind of
possibly could be the answer to Ned’s real birth
date’. There was a moment of silence as I squinted
through my steamy spectacles into the piercing eyes
of the Kelly guru and waited anxiously for his response.
He quickly snatched the copy of his book that I thought
I had tucked securely under my armpit and immediately
proceeded to the page that tells you it was December
of 1854. I was completely devastated. My ten minutes
of research had taken a nose dive down the toilet.
I conceded momentary defeat only for the sheer fact
I needed his signature in my copy of A Short Life.
Ah, but Mr. Jones, you may have won the battle, but
the war continues.
I suppose you are now thinking
what credentials does Crichton possess to take on
Ian Jones? Well I will tell you. Many, many hours
of watching C.S.I on the tele,that’s what. Watching carefully each week
I have become proficient in the gathering of important
but almost unnoticeable evidence. I will now proceed
to explain to you the evidence I have meticulously
scrutinised that will convince you Ned’s birthday
is in June of 1855.
First of all I will need
to list the birthdates of each of John Kelly’s children and their ages
at the time John Kelly registered the birth of Grace
on Tuesday the 3rd October 1865 at Campions general
store. I will also note the childrens’ ages John
gave to Campion.
Noted on Grace Kelly’s
Birth Registration 3rd of October 1865: |